


Another one of those cracky doctor who group chat fics. How "original"

by Run_you_clever_weasley



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Classic Doctor Who References, Crack, Fluff and Crack, Group chat, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Multi, Multiple Doctors (Doctor Who), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Why Did I Write This?, everyone is ooc, i'm a terrible writer, there are no meme references because i know no memes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 2,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25354192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Run_you_clever_weasley/pseuds/Run_you_clever_weasley
Summary: Listen, if you're sober, if you aren't sleep deprived, or if you're not just a really laidback person... you won't enjoy this. Anyway, if you are one of those things, have fun!
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Everyone, Metacrisis Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Thirteenth Doctor/River Song, Twelfth Doctor/Missy
Comments: 27
Kudos: 119





	1. Here we go...

**[ ThirteenthDoctor has created a group chat]**

**[ThirteenthDoctor has added GrahamO'Brien, RyanSinclair & 1 other]**

**ThirteenthDoctor:** Hi guys!  
  


 **YasminKhan** : is this what i think it is?  
  


 **ThirteenthDoctor** : It's a group chat! We can communicate to each other easily if we're separated!

 **  
  
RyanSinclair** : Why are you called the thirteenth doctor? Isn't there only one of you?

**RiverSong** : It's called regeneration. He changes his appearance and personality, as a way to cheat death.

**YasminKhan** : "he"? And who are you, anyway?

**RiverSong** : So the doctor hasn't told you about me yet, has she?

**ThirteenthDoctor:** River!! I've missed you! let's see... Darillium?

**RiverSong** : Yes.

**ThirteenthDoctor** : HOW???

**RiverSong** : Spoilers, sweetie.

**YasminKhan** : Does anyone have any ideas about what's going on?

**RyanSinclair** : Not a clue.

**GrahamO'Brien:** @RiverSong @ThirteenthDoctor Mind explaining ...this, loves?

**ThirteenthDoctor:** Yes, of course! Sorry Graham. 

**RiverSong** : She's my wife.

**YasminKhan** : WHAT?!?!?

**YasminKhan:** asdfghjkl

**RyanSinclair** : WHAT?!?!?!

**[@YasminKhan changed their name to ThriverShipper]**

**RyanSinclair** : Nice ship name.

**ThriverShipper** : Thx

**TwelfthDoctor** : What is this?

**[@ThirteenthDoctor changed TwelfthDoctor's name to Sentient Eyebrows]**

**ThirteenthDoctor** : Glad you could make it, 12. 

**Sentient Eyebrows** : I’d say I’m glad to be here but I’d be lying.

**Mistress** : Hello dears.

**Mistress** : This username’s a bit bland, isn’t it?   
  


**[@Mistress changed their name to KnownAsTheMistressUniversally]  
**  
  


**Sentient Eyebrows** : Who invited YOU?

**ThirteenthDoctor** : Knowing her, she probably invited herself.   
  
  


**KnownAsTheMistressUniversally** : If you must know, the TARDIS invited me.

**ThirteenthDoctor** : Oh. That would explain why Eyebrows and River are here.   
  


**RiverSong** : How do you know I didn’t just invite myself?

  
**[@RyanSinclair changed their name to confusedAF]**

**confusedAF** : Who’s with me?

**[@ **GrahamO'Brien changed their name to confusedgrandad]****

**confusedgrandad** : I have a feeling things are going to get even more complicated.

**ThriverShipper** : I would join this cult of confusedness but my name’s pretty great so...

**[@confusedAF changed ThriverShipper’s name to ConfusedThriverShipper]**

**confusedAF** : Welcome to the cult.

**ConfusedThriverShipper** : Wow.

**ThirteenthDoctor** : Oh yeah, by the way, what’s a ship? I mean, in this context.

**confusedAF** : You- You... You don’t know what a SHIP is?!?

**ConfusedThriverShipper** : Doctor, don’t move. I’m coming to give you a lesson on pop culture.   
  


**[@ConfusedThriverShipper has left the chat]**

**ThirteenthDoctor** : I regret asking.


	2. ‘What’s wrong with fam?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The names, in case you forgot:  
> ThirteenthDoctor: Thirteenth Doctor  
> Sentient Eyebrows: Twelfth Doctor  
> ConfusedThriverShipper: Yaz  
> confusedAF: Ryan  
> confusedgrandad: Graham  
> KnownAsTheMistressUniversally: Missy  
> RiverSong: River Song

**[ThirteenthDoctor has joined the chat]**

**ThirteenthDoctor** : Hello fam!

**[KnownAsTheMistressUniversally has joined the chat]**

**KnownAsTheMistressUniversally** : Fam? Really, Doctor?

**ThirteenthDoctor** : What’s wrong with fam?

**KnownAsTheMistressUniversally** : As your earth humans would say, smh

**KnownAsTheMistressUniversally** : Although you probably don’t know what that means.

**[ConfusedThriverShipper has joined the chat]**

**ConfusedThriverShipper** : You WOULD know what smh means if you had come to my presentation on pop culture instead of running away and pelting me with custard creams.

**ThirteenthDoctor** : Oi! Stop ganging up on me!

**[@ThirteenthDoctor changed their name to StopGangingUpOnMe]**

**[@ConfusedThriverShipper changed StopGangingUpOnMe’s name to SweetSummerChild]**

**  
  
SweetSummerChild**: Um, I was born in winter...

**[confusedAF has joined the chat]**

**confusedAF** : Wassup? ****

**ConfusedThriverShipper** : Scroll up

**confusedAF** : XDD

**confusedAF** : Really? 

**confusedAF** : Now this is the sort of thing only the doctor could misinterpret

**SweetSummerChild** : What is it? What’s the joke? I’m missing something.   
  
  
**[JackHarkness has joined the chat]**

**JackHarkness** : Hello ladies.   
  


**SweetSummerChild** : Jack!

**JackHarkness** : So which one of you is the Doctor?

**confusedAF** : Guess, mate.   
  


**ConfusedThriverShipper** : Can’t you tell?

**JackHarkness** : @SweetSummerChild hello doctor!

**SweetSummerChild** : Hello Jack.

**[confusedgrandad has joined the chat]**

**confusedgrandad** : Um

**[confusedgrandad has left the chat]**

**confusedAF** : with good reason too.  
  


**[RiverSong has joined the chat]**

**RiverSong** : @SweetSummerChild Hello sweetie.   
  


**RiverSong** : ΔσδμΓΣΠ  
  


**[RiverSong has left the chat]**

**SweetSummerChild** : Coordinates?

**SweetSummerChild** : RIVER NO-

**[SweetSummerChild has left the chat]**

**ConfusedThriverShipper** : A great moment in their shipping history, to be sure. 

**confusedAF** : Where is the doctor taking us?

**ConfusedThriverShipper** : Scroll up

**confusedAF** : Ah.

**confusedAF** : But I asked WHERE is the doctor taking us?

**ConfusedThriverShipper** : Good point. 

  
**[confusedgrandad has joined the chat]**

**confusedgrandad** : @ConfusedThriverShipper @confusedAF any idea where the doc is taking us?

 **confusedAF** : Scroll up.

**[SweetSummerChild has joined the chat]**

**SweetSummerChild** : What are you all doing on your phones? WE’VE LANDED!

**[SweetSummerChild has left the chat]**

**[confusedAF has left the chat]**

**[confusedgrandad has left the chat]**

**[ConfusedThriverShipper has left the chat]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos! But guess what? I’m upping my standards. Y’all have already given me TWENTY kudos. So, share this with your friends, because if I don’t get FIFTEEN more kudos, no third chapter for you. Actually, just commenting with “kudos” or “a million kudos to you” works fine too.  
> (Oh, and, by the way, yes I did change ‘the chat format’ a little, just to make it easier to type)


	3. Flirting, Roses, and Confusion, Oh My!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all. Fuck however many kudos I’ve got, here’s a new chapter. Enjoy it as the last of your brain cells sizzle away.  
> Oh, yeah. Names:  
> SweetSummerChild: 13th Doctor  
> Sentient Eyebrows: 12th Doctor  
> confusedAF: Ryan  
> confusedgrandad: Graham  
> ConfusedThriverShipper: Yaz  
> KnownAsTheMistressUniversally: Missy  
> RiverSong: (duh)  
> JackHarkness: (also duh)
> 
> This will be the debut of tentoo and Rose. Yay. (I write ooc as fuck, remember that, okay?)

**[SweetSummerChild has joined the chat]**

**[RiverSong has joined the chat]**

**SweetSummerChild** : You have GOT to stop doing things like this.   
  


**[ConfusedThriverShipper has joined the chat]**

**ConfusedThriverShipper** : Hi doctor. Hi doctor’s wife.   
  


**RiverSong** : It’s River. But that gives me an idea.   
  


**[@RiverSong has changed their name to I’mWith*that*One]**

**I’mWith*that*One** : ;)

**[MetacrisisDoc has joined the chat]**

**MetacrisisDoc** : What is this 

**SweetSummerChild** : Hello. It’s a groupchat.   
  


**ConfusedThriverShipper** : This has a bunch of doctor’s and companions, and we talk about shit

**MetacrisisDoc** : Okay

**MetacrisisDoc** : Mind if I add Rose?

**ConfusedThriverShipper** : Well idk who Rose is but if she’s traveled with the doc go right ahead

**[RoseTyler has joined the chat]**

**RoseTyler** : Hello. John was just telling me about this.   
  


**[Sentient Eyebrows has joined the chat]**

**Sentient Eyebrows** : ROSE?!?!

**[BillPotts has joined the chat]**

**BillPotts** : I noticed Grandad using this. Now, I think it would be a good time to ask: Any idea why he just put down his phone and started sobbing?   
  


**confusedAF** : Wait... Grandad?

**ConfusedThriverShipper** : As in, you’re the Doctor’s grandkid?

**BillPotts** : What? No, just a nickname.   
  


**SweetSummerChild** : Rose!

  
**[RoseTyler has joined the chat]**

**RoseTyler** : Who are you all, anyway?

**SweetSummerChild** : I’m the Thirteenth Doctor. @confusedgrandad @confusedAF and @ConfusedThriverShipper are my fam. @Sentient Eyebrows is the twelfth Doctor. @KnownAsTheMistressUniversally is the female master, @BillPott’s is Twelve’s companion. My wife, @RiverSong, is here too. And I’m sure you remember @JackHarkness  
  


**JackHarkness** : Hello Rose. ;)

**MetacrisisDoc** : Stahp


	4. Comedy and a kidnapping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here are the names, although your obvious lack of brain cells might make it hard to read this fic. Oh wait! I forgot! This fic doesn’t need any brain cells to read!  
> Names:  
> SweetSummerChild: 13th Doctor  
> Sentient Eyebrows: 12th Doctor  
> ConfusedThriverShipper: Yaz  
> confusedAF: Ryan  
> confusedgrandad: Graham  
> KnownAsTheMistressUniversally: Missy  
> BillPotts: (duh)  
> JackHarkness: (once again, duh)  
> MetacrisisDoc: (DUH)  
> ThisRoseHasThorns: Rose Tyler  
> I’mWith*that*One: River Song

**[RoseTyler has joined the chat]  
**

**[@RoseTyler has changed their name to ThisRoseHasThorns]**

**[MetacrisisDoc has joined the chat]**

**  
ThisRoseHasThorns** : How do you like my new username?

**MetacrisisDoc** : Bit mean though, innit?

**ThisRoseHasThorns** : Just look at River’s name!

**[I’mWith*that*One has joined the chat]**

**I’mWith*that*One** : Have I been summoned?  
  


**MetacrisisDoc** : I don’t get it.  
  


**[SweetSummerChild has joined the chat]**

**SweetSummerChild** : I also don’t get it

**[ConfusedThriverShipper has joined the chat]**

**ConfusedThriverShipper:** Maybe you would... if you didn’t start throwing things at me!

**SweetSummerChild** : Yaz, maybe I wouldn’t have started throwing things at you if you didn’t sneak up on me in the middle of the night. What were you planning to do? Kidnap me for your “presentation”?

  
  
**ConfusedThriverShipper:** I’m not denying anything

**MetacrisisDoc:** _Rose_... you wouldn’t do anything like that, would you?

  
**ThisRoseHasThorns:** I’m not denying anything...

  
**[KnownAsTheMistressUniversally has joined]** ****

**KnownAsTheMistressUniversally:** Oh look, the Doctor and their pets are still being stupid. What a _surprise_.

**ConfusedThriverShipper:** Oh, look, Missy’s still tormenting us because she has nothing better to do. What a _surprise._

  
**SweetSummerChild:** FeyvwrHELPhsube

**SweetSummerChild:** vsiwvwtjdbhetshwyysg

**ConfusedThriverShipper:** what was that?

**ThisRoseHasThorns:** Well, I saw the word “HELP”, so my best guess is that Missy’s kidnapping her but she had time to “accidentally” type something. Yaz?

**ConfusedThriverShipper:** Damn, you’re good

**ThisRoseHasThorns:** I traveled for a while *cracks knuckles*

**KnownAsTheMistressUniversally:** Shit

**[ConfusedThriverShipper has left the chat]**


	5. Domestics and Paradoxes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry, I changed the chat format AGAIN. It’s just easier to type this way.  
> Names:  
> SweetSummerChild: 13th Doctor  
> Sentient Eyebrows: 12th Doctor  
> ConfusedThriverShipper: Yaz  
> confusedAF: Ryan  
> confusedgrandad: Graham  
> KnownAsTheMistressUniversally: Missy  
> BillPotts: (duh)  
> JackHarkness: (once again, duh)  
> Lurky: Metacrisis Doctor, or tentoo  
> ThisRoseHasThorns: Rose Tyler  
> I’mWith*that*One: River Song

**[ConfusedThriverShipper has joined the chat]**

**ConfusedThriverShipper:** are we not making a bajillion paradoxes with this chat?

 **MetacrisisDoc:** Technically, yes.

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** Agh! Where did _you_ come from?

 **[ConfusedThriverShipper changed MetacrisisDoc’s name to Lurky]** ****

**Lurky:** I don’t like it

**[Lurky changed their name to MetacrisisDoc]**

**[ConfusedThriverShipper changed MetacrisisDoc’s name to Lurky]**

**[Lurky changed their name to MetacrisisDoc]**

**[ConfusedThriverShipper changed MetacrisisDoc’s name to Lurky]**

**[Lurky changed their name to MetacrisisDoc]**

**[ConfusedThriverShipper changed MetacrisisDoc’s name to Lurky]**

**Lurky:** I give in.

**[SweetSummerChild has joined the chat]**

**SweetSummerChild:** Yaz, don’t be mean to half-me.

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** Why only half?

 **Lurky:** It’s a long story.

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** No duh, you’re the Doctor. Or... half of the Doctor? Srsly, how & why

**[ThisRoseHasThorns has joined the chat]**

**ThisRoseHasThorns:** honey, get off your phone and do the dishes

**[ThisRoseHasThorns has left the chat]**

**SweetSummerChild:** So how does it feel being domestic, me? Never done that before

 **Lurky:** Terrible ****

**[Lurky has left the chat]**

**[I’mWith*that*One has joined the chat]**

**I’mWith*that*One:** Honey, you ate all the custard creams. Buy some more, I want them with my tea

**[I’mWith*that*One has left the chat]**

**[SweetSummerChild has left the chat]  
** ****

**ConfusedThriverShipper:** And she claims she isn’t domesticated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed. If so, please kudos and comment. I write a bunch of other Doctor Who stuff too.  
> Sorry the chapter’s kinda short...


	6. Blood and Roses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise it’s not as dark as it sounds   
> ALSO, MENTIONS OF PERIODS. ~AFAB here, I know about these things~  
> Names:  
> SweetSummerChild: 13th Doctor  
> Sentient Eyebrows: 12th Doctor  
> ConfusedThriverShipper: Yaz  
> confusedAF: Ryan  
> confusedgrandad: Graham  
> KnownAsTheMistressUniversally: Missy  
> BillPotts: (duh)  
> JackHarkness: (once again, duh)  
> Lurky: Metacrisis Doctor, or tentoo  
> ThisRoseHasThorns: Rose Tyler  
> I’mWith*that*One: River Song

**[SweetSummerChild has joined the chat]**

**SweetSummerChild:** Help I’m bleeding what do I do?

**[ThisRoseHasThorns has joined the chat]**

**ThisRoseHasThorns:** Shit, okay, where??

 **SweetSummerChild:** My biiiits

 **ThisRoseHasThorns:** Lol

 **SweetSummerChild:** It’s not funny

 **ThisRoseHasThorns:** Doctor, you’re just having your period

**[ConfusedThriverShipper has joined the chat]**

**ConfusedThriverShipper:** did someone say period

 **ThisRoseHasThorns:** That was fast

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** On my first time, I was so scared I got like 500 boxes of pads and I’m _still_ trying to get rid of them.

 **ThisRoseHasThorns:** Wow

 **SweetSummerChild:** WHAT DO I DO

 **SweetSummerChild:** HELP

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** Sit on the couch and eat custard creams, I’m coming with pads and companionship. It’s normal, don’t worry

 **SweetSummerChild:** are you sure it’s normal? It huuuurts

 **ThisRoseHasThorns:** Don’t _worry_ , it’s okay. We all get periods. 

**SweetSummerChild:** Okaayyyyyy

**[ConfusedThriverShipper has left the chat]**

**[SweetSummerChild has left the chat]**

**[Lurky has joined the chat]**

**Lurky:** What was _that_ all about?

 **ThisRoseHasThorns:** Not _you_ too!


	7. Pride and Pancakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The “I assume people are bi on sight” quip is one I actually invented, I think.  
> Names:  
> SweetSummerChild: 13th Doctor  
> Sentient Eyebrows: 12th Doctor  
> ConfusedThriverShipper: Yaz  
> confusedAF: Ryan  
> confusedgrandad: Graham  
> KnownAsTheMistressUniversally: Missy  
> BillPotts: (duh)  
> JackHarkness: (once again, duh)  
> Lurky: Metacrisis Doctor, or tentoo  
> ThisRoseHasThorns: Rose Tyler  
> I’mWith*that*One: River Song

**[SweetSummerChild has joined the chat]**

**SweetSummerChild:** I smell something burning

 **[ConfusedThriverShipper has joined the chat]  
** ****

**ConfusedThriverShipper:** Well, excuse you

 **SweetSummerChild:** What?

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** I’m making pancakes! Didn’t I tell you?

 **SweetSummerChild:** You did? 

**[confusedAF has joined the chat]**

**confusedAF:** Yeah, rainbow ones. For Pride. Didn’t she tell you?

 **SweetSummerChild:** Are you just going to make a hobby of ganging up on me?

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** Seeing how much fun I’m having, I might as well not stop

**[BillPotts has joined the chat]**

**BillPotts:** did someone say pride pancakes?

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** Yup

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** Somehow, I don’t think that many companions were straight.

 **BillPotts:** To be honest, I just assume people are bi on sight.

**[ConfusedThriverShipper has changed BillPotts’s name to BiUntilProvenOtherwise]**

**BiUntilProvenOtherwise:** I like it.

 **confusedAF:** I think your pancakes are ready...

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** I’m the one making them! I’ll know when they’re ready

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** shit-

 **confusedAF:** And _now_ you look back at the pan

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** Err...

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** Pride Doughnuts, anyone?

 **confusedAF:** Preferably store-bought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I update this fairly often, and I write tons of other Doctor Who stuff, too.  
> When Yaz changes Bill’s name, I KNOW that’s a spelling error, but the thing is: the chat machine probably doesn’t know that Bill’s username ends in an “s”. So... yeah.  
> Speaking of spelling, idk how they spell donut in England so I hope I’m doing it right


	8. Cats and Chips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Names:  
> SweetSummerChild: 13th Doctor   
> Sentient Eyebrows: 12th Doctor   
> ConfusedThriverShipper: Yaz   
> confusedAF: Ryan   
> confusedgrandad: Graham   
> KnownAsTheMistressUniversally: Missy   
> BiUntilProvenOtherwise: Bill Potts  
> JackHarkness: (once again, duh)   
> Lurky: Metacrisis Doctor, or tentoo   
> ThisRoseHasThorns: Rose Tyler   
> I’mWith*that*One: River Song

**[Lurky has joined the chat]**

**Lurky:** Hello

**[ThisRoseHasThorns has joined the chat]**

**ThisRoseHasThorns:** you were _talking_ to them! ****

 **Lurky:** How did you know I was ON here?!?

**[ConfusedThriverShipper has joined the chat]**

**ConfusedThriverShipper:** Am I... interrupting something?

 **ThisRoseHasThorns:** XD

 **Lurky:** It’s a running “joke”

 **ThisRoseHasThorns:** Okay, so I was coming home with chips after my shift, and I get in.

 **ThisRoseHasThorns:** The place is completely TRASHED, broken stuff everywhere, and I get to the living room

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** What happens next I need to k n o w

 **ThisRoseHasThorns:** And John’s standing there with a pile of random homeless cats (all blue, by the way), in an intent discussion with them. Then he looks up and says, of all things, 

**ConfusedThriverShipper:** TYPE FASTER

 **ThisRoseHasThorns:** “Ooh, chips.” Which isn’t that weird, but then he FEEDS THE CATS WITH THEM! and now I’m standing in a completely wrecked house watching my half-Time Lord husband feed several homeless blue cats with the chips I got after my shift, back when my day was normal. 

**ThisRoseHasThorns:** And considering the fact we’re mostly domesticated now, this is a pretty weird day for us. 

**ConfusedThriverShipper:** I- wow

 **ThisRoseHasThorns:** ooh, we haven’t even got to the best part

**ConfusedThriverShipper:** _WHAT_

**[ThisRoseHasThorns** **has sent one image to the chat]**

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** Y-

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** you k E p T them?

 **Lurky:** I don’t really “own” them...

 **Lurky:** But basically yeah

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** Thank you for the story

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** But there’s a plate of cookies calling my name

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** Literally

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** The Doctor soniced them and they’re literally going “Yaz, let’s watch a movie togetherrrr”

**[ConfusedThriverShipper has left the chat]**

**ThisRoseHasThorns:** *sigh* sometimes I miss those days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I actually put some feels there in the end


	9. Nardole and Dinosaurs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Names:  
> SweetSummerChild: 13th Doctor  
> Sentient Eyebrows: 12th Doctor  
> ConfusedThriverShipper: Yaz  
> confusedAF: Ryan  
> confusedgrandad: Graham  
> KnownAsTheMistressUniversally: Missy  
> BiUntilProvenOtherwise: Bill Potts  
> JackHarkness: (duh)  
> Lurky: Metacrisis Doctor, or tentoo  
> Lurky2: Rose Tyler  
> I’mWith*that*One: River Song
> 
> Fun Fact: I don’t even know I have these ideas in my head, I just start typing and when I’m finished I read it and give it a title and boom it’s a somewhat okay fic

**[BiUntilProvenOtherwise has joined the chat]**

**BiUntilProvenOtherwise:** What the fuck was Nardole doing

 **BiUntilProvenOtherwise:** And why were there REAL DINOSAURS

**[ConfusedThriverShipper has joined the chat]**

**ConfusedThriverShipper:** Tell me more

 **ThisRoseHasThorns:** Yes, do tell

**[ConfusedThriverShipper has changed ThisRoseHasThorn’s name to Lurky2]**

**Lurky2:** ( **￣** ー **￣** )

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** Anyway, what happened? ****

 **BiUntilProvenOtherwise:** The Doctor was doing a lecture on dinosaurs and decided to bring real ones into the hall

 **Lurky2:** sounds like the kind of thing the doctor would do

 **BiUntilProvenOtherwise:** And then Nardole ran through the hall screaming “she wants them back now!” over and over

 **BiUntilProvenOtherwise:** oh yeah, and he was half-naked

 **BiUntilProvenOtherwise:** It was traumatizing. And did I mention the lecture hall was full of students?

 **Lurky2:** Fu-

 **BiUntilProvenOtherwise:** And they were just living normal human lives but -nope!- Now they’ve seen real dinosaurs and a half-naked Nardole

 **BiUntilProvenOtherwise:** The dinosaurs weren’t the worst part, I guarantee you

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** Ah yes, exposing humans to things they never should’ve seen and claiming “I don’t tamper with history”? Sounds like a normal Tuesday with the Doctor

 **Lurky2:** Oooh, did he do the mind-meld thing to them? 

**BiUntilProvenOtherwise:** What mind-meld thing?

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** Y’know, where she erases your memory

 **BiUntilProvenOtherwise:** ohhhh that

 **BiUntilProvenOtherwise:** I don’t think so

 **BiUntilProvenOtherwise:** considering the fact someone walked past me watching a video of it

**[SweetSummerChild has joined the chat]**

**SweetSummerChild:** Wait, did I forget to wipe everyone’s memory that one time?

 **SweetSummerChild:** Better go do that now

**[SweetSummerChild has left the chat]**

**BiUntilProvenOtherwise:** Wait, is she coming to my time?

**[BiUntilProvenOtherwise has left the chat]**

**Lurky2:** I’d say she left for 50% crushing and 50% damage control

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** I’d say 60% and 40%

 **Lurky2:** 55% and 45%?

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** I’ll take it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaas, Star Trek references.  
>  And I’m sorry my chapters are so short, but since I write ‘em every third day or so, I hope y’all don’t mind.


	10. And then there were buckets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Names:  
> SweetSummerChild: 13th Doctor  
> Sentient Eyebrows: 12th Doctor  
> ConfusedThriverShipper: Yaz  
> confusedAF: Ryan  
> confusedgrandad: Graham  
> KnownAsTheMistressUniversally: Missy  
> BiUntilProvenOtherwise: Bill Potts  
> JackHarkness: (duh)  
> Lurky: Metacrisis Doctor, or tentoo  
> Lurky2: Rose Tyler  
> I’mWith*that*One: River Song

**[confusedAF has joined the chat]**

**confusedAF:** there are buckets everywhere. Why?

**[ConfusedThriverShipper has joined the chat]**

**ConfusedThriverShipper:** what?

 **confusedAF:** I was playing a game on my phone in the library, and I fell asleep, must have. Woke up a few minutes ago, and there’s buckets! EVERYWHERE! 

**ConfusedThriverShipper:** Hold on, lemme leave my room-

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** There fucking are!

 **confusedAF:** What’s the Doctor up to this time? 

**confusedAF:** Scratch that, I don’t even want to know.

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** Wait... there’s something in the buckets. 

**ConfusedThriverShipper:** ...custard cremes?

 **confusedAF:** I can’t walk, Yaz! There’s too many buckets! 

**confusedAF:** Wait, custard cremes? Hey, they’re in mine too!

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** I’m going to find the Doctor. And we’re going to get all of these buckets out of here and... 

**ConfusedThriverShipper:** We’re going to do _something_ about them.

 **confusedAF:** or we could just eat the cremes

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** I-

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** wait that’s actually a good idea

 **confusedAF:** Why do you sound so surprised?

**[SweetSummerChild has joined the chat]**

**confusedAF:** Doctor, do you notice the buckets of custard cremes that happen to be everywhere?

 **SweetSummerChild:** Well, of course I do. I put them there!

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** fucking w h y

 **SweetSummerChild:** I accidentally payed for 10,000 packages instead of one... the man at the register demanded giving them all to me

 **SweetSummerChild:** Once I got them all in the TARDIS, there wasn’t really anywhere to walk.

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** Okay. What do we do about it?

 **confusedAF:** Get eating? Naps always make me hungry

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** I live in a TARDIS that can travel through all of time and space and I’m forced to eat my way out of my own room. 

**confusedAF:** you like it don’t you

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** of course not!

 **confusedAF:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	11. A Perfectly Innocent Video

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Names:  
> SweetSummerChild: 13th Doctor  
> Sentient Eyebrows: 12th Doctor  
> ConfusedThriverShipper: Yaz  
> confusedAF: Ryan  
> confusedgrandad: Graham  
> KnownAsTheMistressUniversally: Missy  
> BiUntilProvenOtherwise: Bill Potts  
> JackHarkness: (duh)  
> Lurky: Metacrisis Doctor, or tentoo  
> Lurky2: Rose Tyler  
> I’mWith*that*One: River Song
> 
> A/N: CLICK ON THE VIDEO LINK BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THE WHOLE ENTIRE CHAPTER REFRENCES

**[BiUntilProvenOtherwise has joined the chat]**

**BiUntilProvenOtherwise:** Saw the COOLEST video today 

**BiUntilProvenOtherwise:** https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

**[Lurky2 has joined the chat]**

**Lurky2:** Ooh

 **Lurky2:** Did you just make me fall for that

 **Lurky2:** I am the QUEEN of rickrolls and I FELL for THAT?

 **BiUntilProvenOtherwise:** According to your response, yes

**[ **BiUntilProvenOtherwise has deleted all chat data]****

* * *

**BiUntilProvenOtherwise:** I found this awesome video https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ @confusedAF

**[confusedAF has joined the chat]**

**confusedAF:** this better be good I was taking a nap-

 **BiUntilProvenOtherwise:** Oh it IS ;)

 **confusedAF:** I-

 **confusedAF:** rickrolling is dead

**[confusedAF has left the chat]**

**Lurky2:** May I do the honors this time?

 **BiUntilProvenOtherwise:** You may

**[Lurky2 has deleted all chat data]**

* * *

**Lurky2:** Hey @ConfusedThriverShipper

 **Lurky2:** Found a video you’d really like :) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXc

**[ConfusedThriverShipper has joined the chat]**

**ConfusedThriverShipper:** Okay

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** D-did you just rickroll me

 **Lurky2:** I don’t have the faintest idea what you mean

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** Ugh

 **ConfusedThriverShipper:** Yes, you do

**[ConfusedThriverShipper has left the chat]**

**[Lurky2 has deleted all chat data]**

* * *

**Lurky2:** Hey @SweetSummerChild I found a video you might like https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

 **BiUntilProvenOtherwise:** Really? HER?

 **Lurky2:** Listen, we’re running out of options-

**[SweetSummerChild has joined the chat]**

**SweetSummerChild:** Nice music

 **SweetSummerChild:** I like itwnsubdgduchjegsygx

 **SweetSummerChild:** Sorry, dropped my phone in the tea

 **BiUntilProvenOtherwise:** Told you

 **Lurky2:** Damn

A/N: The little line feature doesn’t mean time skip, I’m just using it to represent the deletion of the chat logs.


End file.
